I've just checked into my fourth hotel in the last two weeks and have finally decided to put the list I've been compiling in my head out there on the Intertubes. What is it with bathrooms that make hotel designers and managers go completely off the rails? Bathrooms are so easy: You need your basic plumbing fixtures, a countertop, some towels and products, and a couple of well-placed light bulbs. Add hot water, and voilà! But no, they have to make it all clever and complicated... and therefore NOT FUNCTIONAL. Herewith, the six most annoying things about hotel bathrooms that I can think of right now. I'm sure there are more, but I'm too irritated to contemplate them.
6. Tiny Bottles. Yes, they're horrible for the environment, but they're also just a pain in the neck. I want to be able to squeeze more than two blobs of shampoo (or conditioner, or body lotion) out of a bottle before it's empty. See picture of actual shampoo bottle that I've just nearly used up after one shower. And I don't have a lot of hair. (Grape provided for reference.)
5. Odd Number of Towels. If it's just me in the room, I'll probably shower twice over a 24-hour period. If there's two of us, we'll probably both shower twice. That equals either two towels or four towels. So why the hell are there three of them hanging there on the rack? Which brings us to...
4. Towel Bars in the Shower: This is an easy one: Shower = wet. Towels = dry. Please don't make me mix them together.
3. Toilet Phones Next to the Toilet. Twenty years ago, before everyone had cell phones, having an extension next to the toilet was probably considered the height of hotel luxury. Now the sight of one just makes me feel like dousing myself in Purell. Please get rid of it!
2. The Sloppy Shower. What is up with glass shower enclosures that don't actually close but have a big open gap instead of a door, like the one at left? They are trying to say "Look – I'm so chic, so daring!"? What they are really saying: "I'm all wet." And so are the floor, the bath mat, my feet, etc.
And the Single Most Annoying Thing About Hotel Bathrooms...
1. Peekaboo Showers. You know what these are—bathrooms or tubs or shower stalls with a "window" overlooking the rest of the room and vice-versa. They've been a huge trend in hotel design for the past few years and I've seen them everywhere from trendy places (the W Washington DC) to grande dames (the Plaza Athénée in Paris). You know what? I don't need the hotel's help to make me feel like sexytime. It doesn't matter whether I'm sharing the room with my significant other, or my mom, or my buddy, or my coworker: Letting someone else watch you shower is just plain creepy and about as titillating as a Magic Fingers bed. Letting them watch you do whatever other business you need to take care of in there is just plain gross.
and just think, if you were a woman you'd be able to add shitty lighting that makes putting on makeup damned near impossible. also, luxury hotels that have $10 Conair hairdryers in the room. those things putter out pathetic little puffs of air meaning it takes as much as an hour to get my hair dry. dear hotels: please save the thousands you drop on those useless in-mirror TV screens and instead upgrade the hair dryers. thanks.
Posted by: colleen | September 30, 2010 at 06:55 AM
Hilarious. I hate those tiny little stylish hooks on the back of the bathroom door. They're like the waif model version of door hooks, with their itty bitty clearance between hook and door, their feeble grip...
Where am I to hang my 10-pound luxury bathrobe?
Posted by: Jennifer Howze | March 08, 2011 at 04:21 AM
Whenever I check in I agree with you about sloppy shower. How I wish there's a perfect hotel bathrooms that you can choose before checking in :)
Posted by: Janice @ london hotels | April 10, 2011 at 06:59 PM
It is very funny blog but like it. This is really annoying things to everyone. I have also experience during my last tour.
Posted by: Hotel Gramado | May 12, 2011 at 04:09 PM
Ha Ha towel bars in the shower, I can't tell you how many times my towel has slid off and into the water
Posted by: Hotels Spain | May 31, 2011 at 05:25 AM
I agree, there is nothing more frustrating than hotels which have towel bars in the shower, but something that is equally as frustrating are the hotels which have a tiny bath, one which you would have trouble fitting a kid in, let alone an adult!
Posted by: Denmark | June 15, 2011 at 09:15 AM
I have to say that having recently stayed in a 5 star hotel in Britain I was most disappointed with the fact that there was a shampoo and shower bottle which held only enough substance in for one wash. I was staying in the hotel for a week, I mean come on its a little tight lol. Plus you had to be some sort of acrobat in order to use the hairdryer as the wire was only just long enough for me to look in the mirror at the same time as drying my hair.
Posted by: Denmark Hotels | July 06, 2011 at 08:21 AM
After recently staying an a low budget lodge where there was no hairdryer, which was promised in the advertisement, and having to walk down the stairs with wet hair to wait a reception desk for 10 minutes in order to get the hairdryer, I can understand the frustration of various hotels. I have stayed in some beauties in my time. One of them had no lock on the door that worked properly, you could get out of the hotel room once in, but trying to get that swipe card to work on the outer door, was a trial in itself. I also stayed in an 18-30 hotel once, which even at the age of 17 was an experience.
Posted by: Berlin Hotels | July 19, 2011 at 11:02 PM
Oh do not get me started on this one. There is nothing worst than getting to a hotel only to find that for a family of four there is one large towel, a hand towel and two tiny flannels to get dried on. Also, why in certain establishments do they offer a room for four people, and then have one pull out bed at the bottom of the single bed, meaning if the kids want to get out in the night to go to toilet one ends up standing on the others head.
Posted by: Oliver | August 04, 2011 at 02:07 AM
I travel a lot and have stayed in many different hotels over the years, from budget to plush ones, I have to say though the best I have come across are usually the ones you pick up as a bargain and you get a little bit more than you originally thought you would, so you get free shampoo and shower gel and nice towels, and even a little bit extra toilet paper than you may need.
Posted by: Jo | August 08, 2011 at 08:11 AM
What about the shower heads that only spurt out 2 drips of water at a time.. Or that only get room temperature hot! Pet peeves, this should be turned into a book of bad experiences in hotels lol.
Posted by: Yosef Solomon | January 12, 2012 at 05:21 PM