LET'S BE FRANK

The Six Most Annoying Things About Hotel Bathrooms

I've just checked into my fourth hotel in the last two weeks and have finally decided to put the list I've been compiling in my head out there on the Intertubes. What is it with bathrooms that make hotel designers and managers go completely off the rails? Bathrooms are so easy: You need your basic plumbing fixtures, a countertop, some towels and products, and a couple of well-placed light bulbs. Add hot water, and voilà! But no, they have to make it all clever and complicated... and therefore NOT FUNCTIONAL. Herewith, the six most annoying things about hotel bathrooms that I can think of right now. I'm sure there are more, but I'm too irritated to contemplate them.

 

6. Tiny Bottles. Yes, they're horrible for the environment, but they're also just a pain in the neck. I want to be able to squeeze more than two blobs of shampoo (or conditioner, or body lotion) out of a bottle before it's empty. See picture of actual shampoo bottle that I've just nearly used up after one shower. And I don't have a lot of hair. (Grape provided for reference.)

 

5. Odd Number of Towels. If it's just me in the room, I'll probably shower twice over a 24-hour period. If there's two of us, we'll probably both shower twice. That equals either two towels or four towels. So why the hell are there three of them hanging there on the rack? Which brings us to...

 

4. Towel Bars in the Shower: This is an easy one: Shower = wet. Towels = dry. Please don't make me mix them together.

 

3. Toilet Phones Next to the Toilet. Twenty years ago, before everyone had cell phones, having an extension next to the toilet was probably considered the height of hotel luxury. Now the sight of one just makes me feel like dousing myself in Purell. Please get rid of it!

 

2. The Sloppy Shower. What is up with glass shower enclosures that don't actually close but have a big open gap instead of a door, like the one at left? They are trying to say "Look – I'm so chic, so daring!"? What they are really saying: "I'm all wet." And so are the floor, the bath mat, my feet, etc.  

 

And the Single Most Annoying Thing About Hotel Bathrooms...

1.  Peekaboo Showers. You know what these are—bathrooms or tubs or shower stalls with a "window" overlooking the rest of the room and vice-versa. They've been a huge trend in hotel design for the past few years and I've seen them everywhere from trendy places (the W Washington DC) to grande dames (the Plaza Athénée in Paris). You know what? I don't need the hotel's help to make me feel like sexytime. It doesn't matter whether I'm sharing the room with my significant other, or my mom, or my buddy, or my coworker: Letting someone else watch you shower is just plain creepy and about as titillating as a Magic Fingers bed. Letting them watch you do whatever other business you need to take care of in there is just plain gross.  

 

 

Airlines Are Evil. Here's How to Find Their Good Side

I had dinner with a few friends from college last night who berated me for giving props to Delta Airlines. "Delta sucks!" they cried, practically in unison, and proceeded to tell me woeful tales of cancelled flights, rude agents, overnights on the hard airport floors, and general flight mayhem. 

Okay, here's the truth, kids: ALL airlines suck, at one point or another (even Southwest). But airlines can also save the day, getting you onto an earlier flight, upgrading you or putting you in an exit row, and flying you across the country for relatively little money. It's like they have split personalities: Sometimes you get cheery, efficient, comfortable Delta, and sometimes you get Evil Delta.

Because airline mishaps always occur, here are a few tips to help make sure things go as smoothly as possible (emphasis on as possible):

1. Do it online. You can check in to most flights 24 hours in advance on the airline's website. Why wouldn't you do that? You avoid long lines at the airport, the airline knows you're going to show up, and you know in advance where you're going to be seated. Do it for the flight home, too: Ask the hotel front desk to help if you don't have a laptop. The airlines have made this process really easy, and it's shocking how many people fail to take advantage. (Granted, it didn't make a difference in one of my friend's horror stories.)

2. Pick up the phone. If you get to the airport and your flight is cancelled or a delay is going to make you miss your connection, get in line—but take out your cell phone and call the airline, too. If it's a crazy day at the airport, chances are you'll get through to a telephone agent who can help you before you've reached the counter. And chances are even better that the agent on the phone won't be frazzled beyond belief and ready to tear off your complaining head and eat it for lunch.

3. BE NICE!!!!! It's a cliché, but you do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Yes, some agents are curt or impatient or stupid. Some agents withhold the truth or even lie. But chances are that dealing with hundreds of angry passengers has made them just as stressed out as you are. So spare them the screaming, grumbling, eye-rolling, and sarcastic comments. Instead, approach them with a smile and a modicum of sympathy: "Wow, it's crazy here today. How are you holding up?" Then calmly explain your predicament, ask if there's any way they can help, and be understanding if they can't. It's hard to remain calm and polite when the circumstances are infuriating. But I almost always find that if you treat an airline employee like a human being, they'll treat you the same way in return.

4. Be loyal. I say this all the time, but elite members of an airline's frequent flier program will get treated better—pushed to the front of the line, given priority for rebooking, and so forth. It's not easy to achieve elite membership (albeit easier on American than on other major airlines) but it's never going to happen to people who use a different airline every time they fly. Choose one or two airlines who serve your home city and fly them—or their partners—every single time. Even if you have to shell out an extra $20 for the fare, your investment will pay off when you're getting looked after by Nice Airline and everyone else is getting its evil twin.

My mini-guide to Iguazu Falls in Condé Nast Traveler

The latest issue of Condé Nast Traveler includes a short piece I wrote on traveling to Iguazu Falls, the incredible series of waterfalls on the border of Argentina and Brazil that I visited last Christmas. It's just a short, practical guide accompanying a longer essay on the falls by Ben Moser. Anyone who's traveling to Rio de Janeiro, São Paulo, Buenos Aires, or elsewhere in the region should consider a detour to the falls: It's a quick and easy overnight trip (though two days would be better), and the falls are an astonishing show of natural force. For a taste, just look at the top of this page: Those are the falls in the banner of this blog.

Why Details Matter at Hotels

It's a cliché to say that God is in the details, but it really is the small, thoughtful touches that set a hotel apart from its competitive set. I recently stayed at a new luxury hotel in Mexico City that proved just that. There are other hotels in Mexico City that provide spacious rooms, gorgeous design, excellent food, and responsive service. Las Alcobas ticks all of those boxes, but it was the small amenities that provided the real delight. At a time when luxury leaders like Four Seasons are cutting back on fresh flowers and restaurant hours to save money, it's nice to see a hotel come up with innovative ways to improve the experience. At Las Alcobas, these included some points of service that I've never seen before at a hotel:

• When you get a wakeup call, the operator asks if you want tea or coffee sent up to your room. Two minutes later there's a knock on the door. Sure beats having to call room service yourself and wait 20 minutes for your caffeine fix. Better yet: It's included in the room rate.

• There's a minibar stashed with water and Mexican sodas, plus little packages of Mexican candies and snacks—all of it free.

• Open the desk drawer and, lo and behold, you'll find a small collection of useful office supplies: paper clips, rubber bands, tape, a glue stick, even a tiny stapler. The other drawer contained a cute little puzzle map of Mexico.

• The beds are not just comfortable but spotless: every textile, including the duvet and headboard cover, can be removed and laundered. So you don't have to wonder about who has slept in that bed before you, or what they might have been doing there.

• One section of the rosewood-paneled wall opens up to reveal a full-length three-way mirror. I've stayed in plenty of luxury hotels that don't have full-length mirrors at all, so this is a welcome touch. (The interiors were designed by Yabu Pushelberg, a firm that consistently delivers the goods.)
• You can choose from a variety of handcrafted Mexican soaps in the bathroom. And every room has a deep whirlpool tub and a shower stall with spa-style jets. When you book a session in the spa, you get a vial of nice-smelling body wash so you can "start your spa treatment in your room." Sure, it's gimmicky, but it's a creative touch.
• Opening the closet door activates an aromatherapy cartridge that sprays a fresh scent. That sounds gross in theory, but it's so subtle that I didn't even notice it until the hotel owner pointed it out.

To be sure, there were details I didn't like, such as an overly complicated lighting system and the lack of towel bars in the bathroom. But the overall impression was that someone—a real person, not a committee—put a lot of thought into how to provide guests with moments of pleasant surprise. Las Alcobas has the advantages of being small (35 rooms) and independently owned, and therefore less focused on how every tiny detail affects the bottom line. 
For Las Alcobas's owner Sam Leizorek (who, for the record, hosted me at the hotel as part of a group of travel journalists), the hotel is clearly a passion project that he cares deeply about. The result is a hotel that I think guests will feel passionate about too.

  

The Dying Dance Halls of Mexico City

I'm still organizing my photos and compiling thoughts about my recent trips to Mexico City and London, so my posts are still to come. But in the meantime, my fellow travel journalist Anja Mutic, who was also on the Mexico City trip, has written a great little post for her blog, Ever the Nomad, about Mexico City's ficheras, a type of dance hall where men pay women by the dance. (Cueing Tina Turner!) It's a poignant look at a traditional slice of culture that's slowly disappearing.There's a video, too, of women stuffed into tight little dresses and men who look overjoyed to have a dancing partner. The bored looks on the women's faces are priceless.

Thanks, Anja!

Why Don't Airlines Have More Power Ports??

USA Today has an interesting story this morning about the frustrating lack of power outlets in most coach cabins. Very few airplanes have power outlets on short-haul flights, and even on longer flights—when you're more likely to use your laptop to work or watch a movie—they are few and far between. American seems to have the most outlets, according to the article, but only every 2nd or 3rd row in coach. That makes it even more exasperating when your laptop gives out ten minutes into Glee, while the guy two rows up is happily plugged in, watching his Two and a Half Men reruns.

The worst: Discovering that for once you actually have a power port, but that you left the converter at home. You usually need some sort of converter, because most airline seats have cigarette lighter-style 75-watt plugs rather than regular two-prong AC outlets. (Here's the converter I use for my MacBook Pro. Important note: It doesn't actually charge the battery but provides power while you use it.)

Anyway, the good news is that airlines realize they have to add more power ports, since everyone these days travels with a laptop, iPhone, iPad, etc. What's more, in-flight Wi-Fi is becoming more and more common, and it can really drain your battery. Of course, if you upgrade to business class, you're golden: Most front-of-the-plane seats have a power source. But I always make sure my devices are fully charged before I take off, and pack a converter in case I get lucky. 

P.S. You should check Seatguru.com to see if your assigned seat has a power port. I always check it when choosing a seat anyway, in case I'm inadvertently putting myself in a spot that doesn't recline or has limited legroom.

"The New Hoteliers" in Travel + Leisure

 My short feature on the new generation of hoteliers was just published in Travel + Leisure's June issue. The story contains short profiles of six hoteliers, all of whom started their careers as something else: lawyer, entrepreneur, designer, etc. Profiles include Liz Lambert of the Hotel Santa Cecilia in Austin, WIlbert Das, the former Diesel creative director who now runs a small resort in Brazil, and Tuncel Toprak, who has a cool boutique hotel in Istanbul called The Witt. It was a fun story to research and write, and I can't wait to actually visit some of the hotels myself!

(Courtney) Love, Life, and the Pursuit of Happiness

I've been crazy busy the past few weeks and unable to post, plus I've been distracted by a few hilariously bizarre turns of fate, so I'll just give you the highlights:

• Michael and I ended up going to London after all, our flight home disrupted not by a volcano, as feared, but by an eruption of a very different but eminently more enjoyable sort: Courtney Love having a conniption in first class and marching back to coach to berate her lowly assistant, to the amusement of her fans in business class (yours truly).
• Even more pathetic than Courtney's outburst was the fact that Cindy Adams, of all people, stole the story off our Facebook pages and claimed it as her own scoop. Only in New York, kids, only in New York!
• London was fabulous, as always. We had a great stay at One Aldwych hotel, which is still luxurious and even trendy despite newer competitors. And we had phenomenal meals at St. John Bread & Wine, 32 Great Queen Street, and Hereford Road. Anyone who still makes jokes about bad British food needs a new routine.
• I think London's gay nightlife scene may be the richest and most varied in the world—even better than New York's. And their drag queens are funnier too. Thanks to Severino, Simon, and everyone at Horse Meat Disco for giving Michael an unforgettable birthday.
• Mexico City, where I'm staying at the gorgeous new Las Alcobas Hotel, is fascinating, affordable, and devoid of Americans. It's like Buenos Aires, but a hell of a lot closer, and with more edge.
• I am in love with Frida Kahlo. And you thought Courtney wore her heart on her sleeve...

More later!

Delta Starting Non-Stop Flights to Valencia, Spain. ¡Olé!

I just read an announcement that Delta Airlines is about to start non-stop service to Valencia, Spain. Woohoo! I've always wanted to visit Valencia, which has a reputation for fabulous food and cutting-edge architecture—like Barcelona but hipper, more authentic, and less overrun with tourists. Food snobs say it's the only place to get authentic paella with a soccarat, the flavorful, dark layer of caramelized rice that forms on the bottom of the paella pan. (If you've been to Soccarat Paella Bar on 17th Street in New York you know what I'm talking about.) Valencia also has some amazing buildings by architect Santiago Calatrava, who was born there. 

The flights start on May 28 and run all summer long, four days a week (Delta says they're restarting this service, but I never knew they had it before). I just did a quick fare check and it's coming in at $930 round-trip for a long weekend in June—not great, but not ridiculous either. I'm an American loyalist but I Delta gets lots of props in my book for their non-stops to a ton of really cool European cities—beyond the usual suspects of London, Paris, and Frankfurt. Delta flies the only non-stops to Berlin from the U.S.. That alone makes me love them—Berlin is so friggin' cool—but they also have non-stops from JFK to Istanbul, Nice, Venice, Malaga, Budapest, Copenhagen, Stockholm, etc. etc. For a Europe addict like me who needs a regular fix, Delta is a cherished enabler.

Pain in the Ash!

My amusement at seeing Mother Nature strike back at humanity in the guise of an ash-spewing Icelandic volcano is gradually turning to dismay. I'm sympathetic to all those travelers whose trips have been postponed or canceled (though why are they just sitting around JFK? Go to Central Park!). But the blob keeps inching closer to our own plans to fly to London in early May. Now all those selfish-traveler instincts are kicking in: This is going to affect MY fabulous weekend jaunt? Volcanoes SUCK!

What sucks even more is that the airlines don't seem to be dropping fares to Europe to encourage me to throw caution to the wind and just buy a ticket already. The price for the flights I'm watching is holding around a pretty-hard-to-swallow $690, down only $20 from last week, also known as the P.E.E. (Pre-Eyjafjallajokull Era). Our hoped-for departure date is only two weeks away, and it's entirely plausible that Big Bjork is gonna keep belching up clouds of ash over northern Europe. As of Tuesday morning, airplanes were flying around Europe again, but flights to London Heathrow are still grounded until Wednesday at least.

Now, the only aspect of all this with entertainment value is the row (in Europe, it's always a "row") that has broken out over who's to blame for the whole thing. The head of the International Air Travel Association, a feisty-sounding man named Giovanni Bisignani, called the whole matter a "European embarrassment" and blamed the pencil-pushing, red-tape-spinning, cabal of petty arguers better known as the European Union: "The decision Europe has made is with no risk assessment, no consultation, no coordination, no leadership." Never mind that the EU doesn't actually have jurisdiction over European air-traffic control: Rather, each individual country controls its own airspace, which makes sense for national security reasons. But Mr. Bisignani, who represents the industry, wants the airlines to start flying (and making money) again. I'm sympathetic—the airline business is never easy, and it's getting worse. But in this case, I'd rather rely on the judgment of the government authorities, even if they are confused and contradictory and excessively cautious, than on the airline companies worried about stemming their losses. I'll take inconvenience, even painful inconvenience, over plummeting 30,000 feet to my death because the engines glued up.

But that's just me.

Photo: Lightning in the ash plume of Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano. Credit: Olivier Vandeginste, LiveScience.com